A Lucky Break (12/30/2006)

From the writings of Nalla Mann--Bartender of the Bloody Nall Tavern

He grabbed out for a large branch that was hanging out over the river -but it only broke off in his hand. Caught in the current he had no choice but to ride it out. The thundering noise grew louder as he neared the lip of the waterfall. He was helpless as the rushing water tossed him out over the edge. But then he got a lucky break as just 4 feet over the waterfall's edge he landed with a thud on a rocky outcropping that split the waterfall in two.

A Lucky Break (12/26/2006)

From the writings of Nalla Mann--Bartender of the Bloody Nall Tavern

He held his breath and headed to the bottom of the river finding a deep current and riding it as far down river as possible before he resurfaced. When he did surface -he found himself in the middle of some fast moving rapids . He struggled to keep his head above the water and his body from mashing up against the jagged rocks. Fighting for breath as the pace of the river began to speed up. He could hear a thundering noised up ahead.

A Lucky Break (12/21/2006)

From the writings of Nalla Mann--Bartender of the Bloody Nall Tavern

He darted past the warriors into the jungle-- as spears impaled the trees along his escape route. A spear ripped through his shirt sleeve as he made his way blindly through the thick jungle brush. He came to an embankment. -Without thinking he leapt off the edge -turning in midair and firing his gun into the two lead warriors as he fell nearly twenty feet into the river below. He hit the water at a dive -heading deep underwater. Spears and darts whooshed into the water behind him -one embedding itself into his shoulder blade.

A Lucky Break (12/17/20006)

From the Writings of Nalla Mann -Bartender of the Bloody Nall Tavern

The situation was hopeless. As soon as he fired his gun --a deluge of spears would cut him into pieces. The circle of white faced warriors tightened in around him --Then he got a lucky break. A huge explosion rocked the jungle. Violently shaking the ground beneath them -leveling everyone to the jungle floor. The Pineappleman wasted no time regaining his balance and moving before anyone had a chance to react. He ran straight at the still stunned warriors--dropping two with a clothesline --and then with a wild slash of his machete he cut off the spear wielding arm as he was raising it.

A Lucky Break (The Revenge of the Pineappleman) (Dec 4th 2006)

Today starts a longer story
From the Writings of Nalla Mann -Bartender of the Bloody Nall Tavern

He stood in the dark musky jungle-- A machete in one hand a gun in the other. He was completely surrounded by white faced faced jungle-men. They began to circle around him slowly closing in. His eyes darted back and forth.

Dangerous Jungle (Dec 30th 2006)

From the Writings of Historian  Cire Darb   from the collected myths of the SwohsValley Elders

He stashed the machete into his belt and grabbed a gun from the fallen worker.  Stepping over the bloody pineapple crates and bodies he made his way back through what remained of the caravan.  Firing a barrage of bullets into the remaining cats. Downing one large cat as it tried to scramble up a nearby tree.  Taking out another with a bullet that pierced straight through its ear and out the other side.  The cats having lost half of their number now took off into the jungle

Dangerous Jungle (Dec 26th 2006)

From the Writings of Cire Darb -Historian from the Myths of the Swohs Valley Elders

He ran with his machete raised into the air.. A large cat that was gnawing on the head of one of his workers-looked up at him as he approached -brain matter dripping from its teeth. The Pineappleman fired off 2 shots taking out both of the cat's eyes. With eyes bleeding and half dead the cat ran toward where the shots had originated. The Pineappleman dodged its charge cleaving a large slash into the back of the cat's thick neck. Blood sprayed out of the cat's neck like a fountain---the cat slumped forward nearly decapitated.

Dangerous Jungle (Dec 21st 2006)

From the Writings of Cire Darb -Historian from the Myths of the Swohs Valley Elders


He backed the cat up against a rock as the slaughter continued behind him. Once backed up the cat had no choice---it leapt into the air claws drawn. The Pineappleman bent into a crouch swiping with his machete. Splitting the large cat in two from just under it's head straight down to its groin. The cat flew past him flopping into a pile of its own guts. The Pineappleman covered in the cat's gore -stood up from his crouch and turned back toward the carnage that was the caravan.

Dangerous Jungle (Dec 16th 2006)

From the writing of Cire Darb Historian from the Myths of the Swohs Valley Elders


Then he heard a shriek from the back of the caravan as one of the workers was quickly mauled to death --The air was filled with screams and gunfire as the caravan was attacked from all sides. The big cat facing the Pineappleman remained motionless-baring its teeth and growling as the Pineappleman started slowly toward it. The cat let out a full throated growl-before starting to slowly back up under the Pineappleman's stare

Dangerous Jungle (Dec 11th 2006)

From the writing of Cire Darb Historian from the Myths of the Swohs Valley Elders


He cut his way through the dense foliage with his machete--leading the caravan of workers carrying the crates of the precious Pineapples. As he reached the clearing he called for silence holding up his hand to halt the group. There directly in front of him sat crouching ready to strike a large jungle cat --with its teeth bared.

The cat's emerald eyes stared directly at him waiting for the perfect moment to strike. The Pineappleman just stared back . The big cat began to growl a low guttural chortle. The cat barely glanced to the side the average person wouldn't have even noticed -but it caught the Pineappleman's attention. Movement in the foliage -there were more than one. Perhaps a dozen cats hunting together in a pack. The big cat was waiting for the others to be in position. This was going to be a slaughter! He would probably lose half his men before this was through.

Dark Fortress Continued (2/01/2007)

He dragged the Madman kicking and screaming out of the room and down the hallway. The chain digging into his neck as he was  pulled along the ground.   Blood pouring from his missing hand.    Down the stairway and out the fortress entrance.   The Madman was fighting to keep up –gasping for breath.  As the Pineappleman reached the outside  the birds perched a top the head topped spikes flew off into the distance as the Pinappleman continued to drag the freak along the dirt roadway—leaving a trail of blood in his wake.   By the time he reached the forests edge –the Madman  was dead—having bleed out.  The Pineappleman  stopped for a moment.  Then continued to drag him through the forest.  After 30 minutes or so –he reached the edge of the village---The town appeared empty---But as he dragged the lifeless body through the center of town  people started appearing from the doorways.  He reached the end of the small street and dumped the Madman's corpse at the foot of the steps of the palace at streets end.   "Come out" the  Pineappleman  screamed .  "It is over"

Dark Fortress Continued (originally posted Jan 27th 2007)

He heard the Madman's footsteps approaching across the stone floor--searching --drawing closer. The Pineappleman continued to wait. He pulled out a small flask of lighter fluid from with pocket --silently --pouring some on the  creature that he hid behind. Then he lit the body on fire-- The Madman stunned fired a shot into the burning corpse. 

  The Pineappleman stood up separated from the Madman by the flaming corpse.   The Madman aimed the gun directly at him and pulled the trigger ---but the chamber was out of bullets.  The Pineappleman raising his machete  sidestepped the burning body and  swung the blade down on the shocked Madman ---chopping off his outstretched gun hand.  He then reached out grabbing the man by the neck tossing him to the floor.   The Madman  --tried to scramble out of the light --but the room was now brightly lit by the smoking body engulfed in fire.  The Pineappleman reached over and picked up his gun placing in back in its holster.   He then stalked over to the cringing Madman that lay on the ground howling and holding his bloody stump.   The Pineappleman -grabbed one of the chains from the ground and slung it around the Madman's neck--then dragged him from the room.

Dark Fortress Continued (originally posted Jan 25th 2007)

Standing there in utter darkness the smell of death surrounding him.   He waited listening for any sound---but no sound came.   He held the machete above his head ready for an attack.   Then a shot rang out .   The Madman had found his gun and fired a shot that flew right past his head and into one of the skinned headless bodies hanging chained from the wall.  Followed by another shot that ricocheted off the blade of his machete.   From  the brief flashes of light  The Pineappleman saw where the door was.  He turned and ran away from the Madman toward the door.  Diving over one of the bodies on the the floor as another shot rang out that would surely have hit him had he still been standing.  Now he lay on the floor hiding in the darkness behind one of the creatures he had killed.  He sat motionless as the Madman searched the darkness for where he could be. Then he carefully pulled the lighter out of his pocket still trying not to make a sound that would give away his location.

Dark Fortress Continued (12/22/2006)

With both creatures dead—The Pineappleman gathered himself—his leg was bleeding from where the chain had stuck.  He reached for the one still lit torch. –but just as he went to grab it the torch went out.  And then he felt a sharp kick to his abdomen. Unable to see and without his gun he had only one option—as the next kick pounded into his side he grabbed and held onto the leg of his assailant. Twisting the leg he flung the madman to the ground.  The  madmen kicked his hands away as the Pineappleman tried to keep ahold of his leg.  But the Madman was able to scramble away from him.  The Pineappleman-removed his machete and stood up in complete darkness ready for another assault.

Dark Fortress Continued (12/22/2006)

The Pineappleman quickly grabbed the chain that had just been whipped at him before it could be retracted for another strike.  Yanking  on the chain with all his strength he pulled the remaining creature toward him.  The creature using the momentum of the pull  crashed into the Pineappleman knocking him to the ground and sending his gun flying out of his hand and into the shadows.   They both scrambled to get up.  The Creature withdrew a long knife.  The Pineappleman grabbing the chain quickly flung it at the creature approached as it approached.  The chain wrapped around the creatures neck causing it to drop the knife.  With the chain the Pineappleman spun the creature towards him -then pulling the chain tighter around the creatures neck--  He heard its neck snapping as the creature gasped its last breath.

Dark Fortress Continued (12/20/2006)

He fired but hit only wall as the creature slipped into the darkness again. He fired again this time he heard the bullet ripping into flesh. With one hand holding the chain that was wrapped aroun his leg he pulled at the chain bringing the creature at the end toward him. He heard the other chain scrapping against the stone floor. Thinking quickly he pulled at the chain of the creature he had shot ---swiveling him into the path of the other chain. The creature took the chains hit right across his face and collapsed to the ground. Its body extinguishing one of the torches on the ground with its fall. The other creature screamed

Dark Fortress Continued (12/22/2006)

A long chain whipped into the air above him from out of the shadows. The Pineappleman ducked out of the way the chain barely missing his head. From the other side came a second chain. This time he wasn't so lucky as the chain wrapped around his leg bringing him to the ground the torch falling out of his hand. He grabbed his gun and quickly fired off a shot down the length of the chain wounding whatever held the other end. Turning the other direction he spied the other assailant moving around the corners of the room.

Dark Fortress Continued (12/22/2006)

As he neared the end of the hallway the smell of death grew stronger. He lit another torch from the wall with his as he neared the door. He tossed one torch into the middle of the room for some light. He could make out two bodies chained against the far wall as he stepped out into the room. They looked like they had been skinned. Muscles exposed, blood dripped down their skinned torsos. So this is what happened to the rest of the bodies he thought. He heard the sound of a chain against the stone and glanced in the direction of the noise

Dark Fortress Continued (12/20/2006)

Up the staircase and into the darkness The Pineappleman followed. The Madman having the advantage of knowing the fortress and its secrets slipped out of sight. The Top of the stairs opened into a long dark hallway. The Pineappleman with a torch outstretched in front of him slowly made his way down the corridor. The faint sounds of feet on stone fading in the distance ahead of him.

Dark Fortress Continued (12/13/2006)

The Man hissed at him like a snake pulling a lever on the wall which dropped an iron barbed gateway from the ceiling. The Pineappleman ducked under the gate in a roll barely avoiding decapitation. The Man ran up an old stone staircase disappearing into the darkness up above.

Dark Fortress (Continued) 12/13/2006

He Came face to face with the madman or at least he thought he was a man. It was hard to be certain because he wore what looked like layers of dead human skin all over his body. His face was a patchwork of other people's flesh. Blood dripped from the fiend's lips... The Pineappleman holstered his gun. He want this freak to suffer.
"Why have you come to my fortress" The man said
"To put and end to you" The Pineappleman replied.

Starting it up again.....May 2011

My last attempt to recreate the Pineappleman Page went astray......
But I'm trying to bring it back again with a new Facebook Page and semi-weekly blog posting of his adventures that were once posted on Myspace........

I have an idea for a novelty Pineapppleman album and I'd love to get someone that would like to put the Pineappleman into comic form at some point.......

Anyway......Again we start


Dark Fortress to kick off again starting tomorrow......